More specifically, let’s talk about how we talk about sex.
I read a fantasy novel recently (shocking, I know) that had some fairly explicit sex scenes between consenting adults. The scenes were well written, except for the male character – who has already acknowledged his promiscuity – periodically referring to his partner as aberrant or amoral because she was interested and actively engaged in their sexual encounters. And every time he did, it wrenched me out of the scene I was reading.
I can break down what bothered me about this into two main categories:
- Barring any religious or personal beliefs on the participants’ parts (and there were none at play here) that restrict when they have sex or who they have it with, it is a natural process and should not be viewed as aberrant or amoral.
- There’s the inherent sexism of a promiscuous male referring to his partner that way when they were both clearly enjoying themselves. Frankly, the concept that women don’t enjoy sex is outdated and detrimental to the survival of our species.
As a society, we need to accept that there are people who enjoy sex, just as we should understand that there are some people who have no interest in it. There should be no shame in either choice.