Ups & downs to adulting

I was at the grocery store the other day, forlornly noticing that my preferred brand of peanut butter was absent from the shelf. The space was there, but not a single jar of crunchy (my preference) or creamy peanut butter in that brand were available. I sighed and reached for my purse… picking a different brand requires glasses, which is definitely a downside to adulting. Not just because I now read ingredients where I didn’t used to, but because I can barely read most of the label other than the brand name and the creamy/crunchy part. After some grumbling – mostly wondering why there’s anything other than peanuts and a minute amount of salt, and definitely not buying the one with sugar added – I settled on a new jar. (Don’t worry, nobody was staring at me… I tend to do my grocery shopping at the crack of dawn, when the store is mostly empty.)

It led me to consider other ups and downs I’ve encountered recently. I had an emergency dentist visit last month which resulted in a root canal, and anybody who’s experienced that sort of dental pain can tell you it’s definitely a down. But it had an up side… I had just enough in my Flexible Spending Account (FSA) to cover it, which means it wasn’t hitting a credit card bill and I managed to clear my FSA for the year.

For any readers outside the US, an health-related FSA account is money set aside before income tax calculations, and can only be used on health expenses. If unspent after the year plus grace period (in this case, 3 months into next year), you lose the money. In addition to actual medical appointments, it can be spent on some related items, with weird exceptions like covering dentist visits but not toothbrushes. It can lead to weird shopping on FSAStore.com and related sites at the end of the grace period, as you decide just how many first aid kits you really need.

Zuko, perched on the top level of the cat tree. Across the room, two toy mice near the garage door.

Our kitten is definitely an up… but like every cat, Zuko has his personality quirks. His is so excited about toys, particularly mice, and this one type of mouse gets… special… treatment. Watching him drop a toy mouse in the water is funny, until you realize how absorbent it is and see the trail of water he leaves as he drags it around. It’s downright hilarious to see him pause as he runs in from the garage to his bowl; if there’s a mouse between them, he will pick it up and carry it to the bowl. Yes, he sets it in the bowl. *sigh* Dropping one of his mice into my martini… that was definitely a down.

Ups and downs are a part of life… try to laugh when you can, even if there’s a toy mouse in your martini.

Cat personalities

Like people, each cat has a distinct personality… I say as I step away because Zuko is getting into something he shouldn’t. Kittens are a bundle of fun and defensive actions. However, as the youngest member of the house, he’s the last on my list to talk about. Unless he commandeers the keyboard, of course… he jumped me from round 1 to round 5 of a workout yesterday.

Zuko and Diane napping on the sofa

Diane, our oldest, is generally the calmest cat in the house. She hasn’t really warmed up to Arwen over the past couple years, so we were surprised at how well she received Zuko. Diane is the slowest eater, and likely to stare at the other cats as they push into her food bowl rather than stopping them. She’s smart enough to figure out the hunt & feed toys, but doesn’t like competing with the other cats for food, so I end up putting out multiple toys when I feed them dry food. She only climbs on the counter looking for human food when she thinks nobody is watching, and will guiltily slink off when spotted.

June was a young mother when we adopted her and has always been interested in bathing everybody. Note that I didn’t say “every cat” – she’ll bathe anybody who will let her (which does not include me!), and habitually licks furniture and walls too. She’s still a bit unsettled about Zuko’s arrival, but I expect that she’ll eventually bathe him too. She will occasionally paw at my bedroom rug, purring loud enough to be heard across the room. On the rare occasion we find her on the counter, it’s because nobody was in the room and Diane was already up there cleaning a tray or pan. An expert at hiding, she will flee to her nearest hiding spot when caught on the counter.

Arwen, Zuko, and June searching for food

Arwen, with a hunter’s metabolism, has always been food-oriented, to the point where she gets locked into my room before we even start preparing food. She spent the last couple years trying to convince Diane to play with her, and now thinks it’s annoying when Zuko does the same to her. Kitty karma, especially the lurking outside the litter box while it’s in use part. Particularly in the winter, she sleeps on my arm, purring me to sleep. She likes heights, frequently jumping to the top of a bookshelf to loom over the room like a gargoyle. When found on the counter, she will rapidly look for something to eat, or eat whatever she thinks she found before she gets removed. No guilt there at all.

Zuko hanging from a curtain

Zuko is unquestionably a kitten. He demands attention, pawing and nipping at ankles, or jumping up on me during work and purring loudly while he settles down for a nap. Once he’s settled, I’m allowed to set him on the sofa. By the time he’s too heavy to climb curtains, I suspect I will need new curtains. Zuko’s counter exploration is mostly just exploring – he tends to jump up outside of meal time, then wander or sit down comfortably until he’s removed. I realize he has Arwen as a bad example, but hopefully I can teach him that the kitchen counters and dining room table are off limits.

Falling in love with a kitten is easy.

To paraphrase Prince Edward from Enchanted, “What’s not to love?”

Four cats, from left to right: Diane, Zuko, June, Arwen

At some point in their life, every cat was a kitten. But Zuko, our newest addition, is the youngest cat I’ve adopted in quite some time.

Diane and June were both around a year old when we adopted them, and they were adopted a year apart. We adopted Diana shortly after becoming a one cat household; Mungojerrie (aka Mungo) had never been an only cat and was adamant about needing attention… in the middle of the night. We went to the local pet store to meet the available cats (from a shelter they partner with) and Diane called to us. Literally, she meowed at us for attention.

A year later, we adopted June, who was a young mother looking for a home. Two of her kittens were with her that day, but their personalities weren’t a good fit with Diane and Mungo’s. She fit in perfectly, and between her and Diane, they got Mungo moving again until he passed away at nineteen.

A couple years ago, we adopted Arwen, our “kitten”; her adoption story has already been told here. She settled in nicely with June, and eventually reached a peaceful point with Diane, with the occasional mutual bath. She was already six months old by the time she moved in, and remained our smallest cat, but only by weight; her metabolism is that of a huntress.

Near the end of May, some friends were adopted by a cat with her litter of kittens. Despite cat allergies in the house, they took them in and looked after them until the kittens were old enough to find new homes. Two weeks ago, the potential adopter for Zuko fell through. I had been good up to that point, but really, he needed a home, and who could resist that face? Even the older cats are coming around, though if he really annoys them, they could just sit on him for a while, given the size difference. And like Arwen, he purrs like a motorboat.

Find something that makes you smile.

This year has given us all some time for introspection. Well, that or video games. And if that’s what makes you smile, go for it. We each have different needs.

Pink peonies

My garden makes me smile. Looking out at the flowers, stopping to smell the peonies (which smell like roses!), admiring the sunflower that has sprung up in the keyhole bed… particularly after losing all the sunflowers I planted out back to some hungry critter, and unsure whether the front yard sunflowers will survive whatever’s leaving holes in the leaves.

But I can’t complain too much about the critters… I just smiled at a rabbit hopping through my back yard. And have you ever watched a woodchuck run? It’s like a low to the ground penguin waddle, with hips shifting back and forth as it leaves a trail in my grass. Of course, that may be who ate my pea seedlings. It’s hard to tell, I’m not spotting the rabbits or woodchucks in the raised beds.

Keyhole garden with prominent sunflower (no flower yet)

At a guess, it’s birds eating my strawberries, but at least that’s the actual fruit. If the sunflowers had grown to full height, most of the seeds would have been consumed by the birds. The peas probably would have been shared between us and the woodchuck.

The cats June and Diane sitting on a cat rug

And then there are the indoor critters, sources of amusement and frustration. I walked in to these faces this morning. I was immediately suspicious. This was after breakfast, so they weren’t expecting food, and the third cat, Arwen, wasn’t in sight. Arwen is the main troublemaker, the one who figured out how to open the crockpot over Memorial Day weekend, landing a paw in my chicken soup. (Knowing it was possible, Diane then followed her example.) As it turns out, Arwen was lounging in the bay window, and I still have no idea why these two were eagerly awaiting my return from the garden.

Pork chops with cherry sauce, peas, garlic mashed potatoes with chives

I also happen to enjoy food, eating it and preparing it, given enough time. And it’s a mix of things I grew up with – like omelets, which Dad would make on Sunday mornings, grilling on my Big Green Egg – a gift from Dad, or making a pizza from scratch. We’ve developed a Friday night pizza habit, and while the multigrain crust is pretty much the same each time, the toppings vary from week to week, and sometimes I switch from tomato sauce to pesto.

This is by no means the entire list of things that make me smile, just a few things that came to mind. What makes you smile?

My furry girls

Diane (a black & white cat), Arwen (a white & black cat), and June (a tortoiseshell cat)
Diane, Arwen, and June

I mention my cats in passing frequently, so I thought I’d dedicate a little more space to them this once. They do their best to keep my life interesting, each in their own way.  This is a rare photo of all three of them together.  It would have been convenient if they’d arranged themselves by age for the purpose of this post, but that wouldn’t be particularly cat-like.

Starting from the left, Diane is the oldest.  She was adopted in 2009 when we suddenly found ourselves as a one-cat house, and that cat, Mungojerrie, was making it quite clear that it wasn’t acceptable.  As I recall, he was actively looking for companions in the middle of the night, at volume that reminded us that our black cat was part Siamese.  We stopped at a local pet store – the general pet stores near us partner with shelters in the area – and Diane called out for our attention.  I do mean that literally, she meowed at us as from her enclosure.  It wasn’t long before she and Mungo were happily curled up together.  She is the largest cat in the house, mainly noticeable when she decides to walk on me.  Twelve pounds isn’t a lot to pick up; it’s fairly significant when distributed across a paw or two when you’re lying in bed.  Fortunately, she usually prefers to lay beside me.

In the middle is Arwen, our toe-biting, counter-climbing kitten.  (Technically, at almost two, she’s no longer a kitten.  But I don’t think she’s realized that.)  Diane still hisses at her sometimes, which makes this photo all the rarer – Arwen had to wait until Diane was settled before coming near her on the sofa.  Arwen attacks toes (at least, mine) a little less than when she first moved in, but climbs on everything and anything, especially if she thinks there’s food available.  Because of her, my kitchen cabinets now have child locks, and she ends up banished to a bedroom while we’re eating.

Delusional cat

trying to steal from my plate.

She’s locked up again.

When I serve them canned food, it’s a constant battle of keeping her off the counter while I scoop it into their bowls.  Diane assists me sometimes, poised with one paw in the air, ready to swat at Arwen when I push her off the counter.  Arwen makes up for it by curling up on my arm at night and purring me to sleep.

The rightmost cat is June, the mom cat of the family.  When we adopted her, she was just over a year, and two of her kittens were available for adoption as well.  She will bathe any other cat that’s available, and any people who let her.  (No, thank you!)  She used to be amazingly skittish, bolting whenever a cabinet closed too loudly or somebody went in or out of the house.  She rarely flees now, though she is still the best at “it’s time for the vet hide-and-seek”.  On any given day, she curls up with one of the other cats, waking up occasionally to bathe them.   On cold nights, she likes sleeping under the covers, though she never stays the whole night.  She doubles as an alarm clock, making sure I’m awake to feed them breakfast at an unreasonable hour.

People come into our lives for a reason.

Just over 8 months ago, we welcomed Arwen into our lives. She is, without a doubt, still a force of chaos, also known as a kitten.  I know, she’s over a year old now (since she was 6 months when we adopted her), and technically not a kitten, but I don’t think she realizes that.

Arwen and Diane lounging
Arwen and Diane lounging

She has taught everybody in the house a bit about patience, some better than others.  Diane still has points where she barely tolerates Arwen, particularly on the bed at bedtime.  But I’ll wake up in the middle of the night to find Arwen lying next to her, and sometimes June is there too.

If there’s human food involved, Arwen’s the first one there.  Constantly.  But she’s not up on the counter (as much) while I’m cooking, and has learned most of the time to wait until I put a plate down to lick.  That said, I still won’t walk out of the dining room with a plate of food at the table, and leftovers have to be tucked away while we’re eating.

June and Arwen curled up together on the sofa
June and Arwen

She’s been great at getting June to exercise, they will tear through the house playing at random times.  Honestly, that’s one of the reasons I wanted a kitten, to encourage the older cats to move more.  (Hasn’t work so well with Diane.)  And they curl up together at times, just like June and Diane still do.

She is a mighty insect huntress.  I can always tell when there’s an insect in the house, because she’s suddenly leaping straight up at the window or the wall.  I rarely notice what kind of insect it was.  Unfortunately, I have far fewer spiders than I used to; I think she’s eaten all the obvious ones.

She’s even learned not to use her claws when grabbing people.  She still reaches out to grab me, but now it’s cute instead of painful.  Her obsession with nibbling on toes, well, that’s still a thing.  Slippers are our first line of defense.

The most important step.

“What is the most important step a man can take?”

The first one.

That was my first thought upon reading the question in Oathbringer.  As it turns out, that was the character’s initial response too.  It made me think about some significant first steps I’ve taken in recent years.

  1. Followed a friend into our graduate program.  This was significant because it didn’t match either of our majors, though it was my minor.  It was that or law school; I think I picked the right one for me.  That was the first step in my career in Information Technology.
  2. Picked up a flyer for a fan-run Chicagoland convention while I was at GenCon.  That convention is long since defunct, but the effects linger – I met my gaming group, and ex-husband, because of that convention.
  3. Signed our daughter up for karate.  It seemed like something good for her to try, and she was interested in what little she had seen (err… Kung Fu Panda).  There is certainly an element of luck that went with finding the right school, especially since we hadn’t been looking for one.
  4. That first year when I decided to clear weeds out of the old garden patch and plant spinach.  I’ll admit, I had no idea what I was getting into… vegetable gardening is addictive.

As it turns out, the answer was actually “The next step.”  Those were, of course, significant too:

  1. Interviewing with a Chicagoland company when I finished my graduate degree.  Having a degree is lovely, finding a company that will hire you to work with it is even better.  And it’s the reason I ended up in Chicagoland.
  2. The second fan-run convention I attended in Chicagoland was Capricon.  Not only is it a great convention, I’ve made friends for life at it.  It was an excellent next step.
  3. The next step at karate was getting me on the mat with her.  And again after my accident.  That worked out well, I pre-tested for first degree black belt last weekend.
  4. Gardening has turned into a series of next steps for me.  When I moved to my current house, I actually moved a raised bed set in before I moved furniture to the house.  It was early June, which is already a late start for gardening, and it turned into a fabulous harvest.

According to my cats, my first step should be to feed them.  My next step should be to feed them again.  They’re about to be disappointed at least once.

Our kitten, Arwen

I mentioned at the end of November that we had adopted a kitten, who we named Arwen.  She was a resident at the local animal shelter, and her online bio warned people that “did nip her previous owner, so she needs a new family who can handle a playful kitten.”  Given that she’s a kitten, I couldn’t understand why somebody would be worried about nipping.

In fact, she’s barely nipped me in the couple months since she moved in.  She’s clawed me repeatedly, mostly on my hands, but barely touched me with her teeth.  She’s also attacked my feet in bed enough that I added a thick blanket down at my feet for protection.  In other words, she’s a fairly typical kitten, at least in that respect.

She’s also a climber.  She will dash across the living room to leap onto the climbing tower, or jump on the counter, only to be pushed down and jump on the opposite counter almost immediately.  She seems to think the best route to the bedroom window is to cross under the bed, then over the person in bed, onto the nightstand, leaping onto the dresser and stepping onto the jewelry box.

She is immensely curious about our food.  The older two cats aren’t that interested in what we eat unless it’s chicken, but Arwen investigates everything, and wants to lick every dish and every serving spoon… even if we’re not done with them.  I’ve taken to washing the serving spoons immediately, and re-washing if we go back for more, rather than leaving them out on the counter for her… there’s only so many times I can get up to remove her while I’m eating.  And really, some of that food is spicier than a cat should be licking.

More importantly, what her online bio didn’t say is that her purring can be heard across the room.  She’ll curl up on an arm and just start purring, or more amusingly, purr while I’m serving her food as she runs laps around the food container, and as she starts to eat.   Yeah, that offsets any nipping or clawing.  Cuteness wins.

Thankful

This has been a whirlwind years, with plenty of ups and downs to keep things interesting. I am grateful that the ups far outweigh the downs.  Here are some of the things I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving:

  • The Oregonian Cookbook my grandmother sent me a few years ago.  It renewed my interest in poached eggs – I ate an egg poached in homemade broccoli tomato soup this morning – and filled my house with the wonderful scent of cranberry streusel to take to our Thanksgiving meal.  (And amused that spellcheck thinks I should replace “streusel” with “stressful”.)
  • Diane and Arwen on the cat tree
    Diane looking up at Arwen without hissing or growling.

    I’m delighted by the kitten we adopted earlier this week, it’s probably not what my parents expected me to spend my holiday money on…

  • and relieved that Arwen’s introduction into the house has been mostly painless.  Well, at least among the cats… I have scratches that prove there’s a kitten in the house.
  • I am immensely grateful for coffee, since kittens don’t seem to sleep through the entire night.
  • The lovely sounds of Peter Hollens’s Christmas album that I listened to while cooking, and that Cassandra (mostly) has good taste in music.
  • That I have friends and family who appreciate my sense of humor, which explains why I included a note about Dobby when I mailed a sock back to a friend.

I hope everybody had a fabulous Thanksgiving!