Category: Adulting

Ups & downs to adulting

I was at the grocery store the other day, forlornly noticing that my preferred brand of peanut butter was absent from the shelf. The space was there, but not a single jar of crunchy (my preference) or creamy peanut butter in that brand were available. I sighed and reached for my purse… picking a different brand requires glasses, which is definitely a downside to adulting. Not just because I now read ingredients where I didn’t used to, but because I can barely read most of the label other than the brand name and the creamy/crunchy part. After some grumbling – mostly wondering why there’s anything other than peanuts and a minute amount of salt, and definitely not buying the one with sugar added – I settled on a new jar. (Don’t worry, nobody was staring at me… I tend to do my grocery shopping at the crack of dawn, when the store is mostly empty.)

It led me to consider other ups and downs I’ve encountered recently. I had an emergency dentist visit last month which resulted in a root canal, and anybody who’s experienced that sort of dental pain can tell you it’s definitely a down. But it had an up side… I had just enough in my Flexible Spending Account (FSA) to cover it, which means it wasn’t hitting a credit card bill and I managed to clear my FSA for the year.

For any readers outside the US, an health-related FSA account is money set aside before income tax calculations, and can only be used on health expenses. If unspent after the year plus grace period (in this case, 3 months into next year), you lose the money. In addition to actual medical appointments, it can be spent on some related items, with weird exceptions like covering dentist visits but not toothbrushes. It can lead to weird shopping on FSAStore.com and related sites at the end of the grace period, as you decide just how many first aid kits you really need.

Zuko, perched on the top level of the cat tree. Across the room, two toy mice near the garage door.

Our kitten is definitely an up… but like every cat, Zuko has his personality quirks. His is so excited about toys, particularly mice, and this one type of mouse gets… special… treatment. Watching him drop a toy mouse in the water is funny, until you realize how absorbent it is and see the trail of water he leaves as he drags it around. It’s downright hilarious to see him pause as he runs in from the garage to his bowl; if there’s a mouse between them, he will pick it up and carry it to the bowl. Yes, he sets it in the bowl. *sigh* Dropping one of his mice into my martini… that was definitely a down.

Ups and downs are a part of life… try to laugh when you can, even if there’s a toy mouse in your martini.

There’s an election coming up, how can I help?

There are many possible ways to help the election process, both before and on the actual election day. One important way to help is signing up to become a poll worker – these are the people who check your voter registration and hand you a paper ballot or a code for computer voting. They’re in for a long day – our local election judges (the title seems to vary) arrive at their polling place at 5am and stay until 7pm, and that’s not even counting the training they do ahead of time.

There are also poll watchers, who watch the election process to make sure nothing inappropriate happens. These are typically appointed by the political parties, and again, need some training to make sure they don’t interfere with the voters. You don’t just show up and watch the polls, you need to make sure you’re not breaking any laws in the process. For example, these are the requirements in Illinois:

Registered to vote in the state; must be affiliated with the political party or organization that appoints him or her; the parties and candidates can each appoint two per precinct; organizations that are concerned with the election and nonpartisan civic organizations can appoint one per precinct provided they register with the elections authority 40 days before the election; there can be no more than two people from nonpartisan civic organizations at a polling place at a given time.

Note in particular that there are limits to how many people from each organization can be at a single location. Some states require poll watchers to wear badges, identifying themselves or their organization (it varies) by name. If you’re volunteering as a poll watcher, make sure you know the local rules.

There are always voter registration drives leading up to an election, assisting new voters in signing up. I recall one of these on my college campus, which is around the time most kids reach voting age. It’s too late in most states to register for this election, so keep this one in mind for the next election cycle.

If there’s a candidate you really like, you can volunteer! If the thought of volunteering for one of the big campaigns – presidential or other federal position – seems overwhelming, find a local candidate that you support. There are phone banks, text messages to send, postcards to address and mail… though from personal experience, I would recommend spreading the postcards out a bit, addressing 60 in one day was a bit painful.

There are also rallies, standing (ideally social distanced and with masks) with other people who have similar political views holding signs and waving at traffic. These signs can be anything from support or opposition to specific candidates, particular issues you’re passionate about, or just encouraging people to vote.

As a random act of kindness, there’s a non-profit that delivers food to the long voting lines. You can report a long line or donate towards their pizza at Pizza to the Polls’s website.

What options did I miss, and what are you doing to help?

P.S.: Early voting has started. Remember to vote.

Making masks fun

It seems like we’ll be wearing masks for a while, since studies have shown that the the Coronavirus is primarily transmitted through airborne particles. Wearing a mask primarily protects other people from particles you emit, but can also help protect you from theirs. Given the sudden need everybody has for masks, lots of companies are now featuring them on their websites, in stores, and in online ads. Some of them look quite lovely, given the variety of fabrics involved. Even political campaigns have jumped on the bandwagon, even those where the candidates disavowed the pandemic or refuse to wear masks in public themselves.

But I don’t really want a mask that says “Keep America Racist” (OK, it may say great, but it means racist), or any other mask that makes me a walking political advertisement. I’m fortunate to both know many crafters and own a sewing machine myself. Early in the lockdown, I ordered a couple masks from a friend, and grabbed some of my spare fabric to make some masks while waiting for those to arrive. Since then, I’ve purchased more fabric, including snagging some Avengers fabric in the remnants bin, and received a couple masks as gifts.

Assorted masks including Avengers, cats, Harry Potter, and science symbol fabrics

I find the different styles fascinating. My masks are all using the same pattern from CraftPassion.com, and were initially made with elastic – yes, I had spare elastic lying around. It’s like spare fabric or yarn, it just happens when you craft too much. The masks we ordered have ties, which are easy to maneuver, and bypassed the sudden rush on elastic everywhere. The masks from my sister-in-law, which includes the chibi Harry Potter one, all use cord and have beads to adjust the tightness. Cassandra and I both prefer those, and the pattern I’m using is flexible, so I’ve adjusted to something similar, just with a thick yarn. (Did I mention having spare yarn?) And my one mask with cats on it is also my only mask that hooks on the ears.

On my morning walks, I prefer elastic, so I can wear the mask around my neck except in the rare cases where I cross paths with another person. For grocery shopping, any of the styles will do, though I try to save my cat mask for vet appointments. As a fringe benefit, the masks can also be worn while cleaning house… it helps suppress the bathroom cleaner smell, which is quite intense.

I suggest finding a style or two that suits you, and definitely a color or pattern you like, since it seems masks are going to be around for a while.

“It must be mine!”

There isn’t a lot that I need or want to buy most of the time. If anything, I need to clear things out of my house to declutter. So it’s a fairly rare occasion when I see something that makes me channel Dork Tower’s Igor and say “It must be mine!”

I’ve always liked the “Hate has no home here” signs, but they didn’t quite call to me as something I needed on my lawn… until the sign turned up on my Facebook feed with translations in Elvish, Klingon, and Gallifreyan. And that called to my inner geek, which as we all know, is not generally limited to the “inner” part. But my Google-Fu failed, I couldn’t find the sign.

As it happens, a friend of a friend had recently added one to their yard, so where my Google-Fu failed, social networking succeeded, and found me this Tweet:

Hate has no home here - in Elvish, Klingon, Gallifreyan, and English

The sign isn’t being commercially produced, so it’s not available to purchase. The PDF, however, is available if you provide a record of donating $5 (or more!) to a local food bank. It can then be printed as a yard sign by your local FedEx shop, or assorted online options. Part of the appeal, to me at least, is that these are coincidentally my earliest fandoms – we started watching Star Trek (re-runs) and Doctor Who as young children, and I started reading Lord of the Rings late in elementary school.

Today in particular, I think it’s important to remember that we all share a planet and as a species, we should appreciate the cultural differences spread across the globe. And across fandoms, obviously.

Voting by mail

I’ve never voted by mail before, largely because Illinois offers early voting about a month before each election, which has allowed me to vote without interfering with my work schedule in several elections. But this election is different. There’s a pandemic, with numbers still rising both in Illinois and across the country. And while I’m not high risk – having none of the pre-existing conditions thought to increase the chances of catching it, and already working from home before this outbreak – I recognize that most of the poll workers tend to be older, and likely to be in those high risk categories. I have no interest in putting myself, my family, or anybody else at unnecessary risk.

I realize several politicians, many of whom vote by mail themselves, are claiming that voting by mail increases incidents of fraud. There is, frankly, no evidence of this. It is, as far as I can tell, something they’re making up to scare people, much like the unsubstantiated claims of massive voter fraud in the 2016 election. That said, given the opportunity to vote by mail, I wanted to break it down to look at the realism of the possibility.

First, there’s the envelope the ballot application arrives in. It’s addressed to me, at the name and address I registered to vote with. (I moved mid-2016; I immediately updated my voter registration since there was an election coming up.) The important thing I noted on the envelope was “Return Service Requested” above my information. I double-checked with a local letter carrier (that’s the official title for your mailman/mailwoman), and that means that if that name is not valid for that address, the letter gets returned to the sender. This is different from Address Service Requested, which would return the envelope and provide the forwarding address to the sender. So flat out, if you’re not at that address anymore, the letter gets returned.

Application for ballot - General Election, November 3, 2020

And what if it accidentally gets delivered anyways? Well, let’s look at the application. Name, street, city and zip… those are all available on the envelope I received. My birth date – which is part of my voter registration – is not. Nor is my signature, and a mismatched signature is one of the common mistakes on absentee ballots – not generally because of fraud, but because of older voters whose motor skills are changing, or signatures recorded on that stupidly oversensitive electronic pad when you renewed your driver’s license. (I’m left-handed, and most of those pads are meant for right-handed people… the last time I had to sign for my driver’s license, it took me three tries to not bump it with anything other than the special pen.)

So even if you accidentally receive somebody else’s ballot application, you’re not likely to know enough information to request their ballot. Some states, like Oregon, had already switched to only vote by mail before the pandemic. Illinois allows all registered voters the option, and is now actively encouraging it because of the pandemic. I’ll post more on this topic once I’ve received my ballot, with a look at what checks are in place to prevent fraud on the actual ballot.

Set a goal, find a buddy.

I’ve discussed some of the goals I’ve set in multiple posts. Some goals are quick and clearly individual, like creating a garden plan for the year and writing a blog post every week. But some of the ongoing goals, like staying fit and learning a new language, are long term goals, and those can be aided by finding a buddy with similar goals.

For fitness buddies, I keep in touch with my karate friends, and Centr.com has a Facebook community where we all encourage each other, particularly when participating in the same challenges, like the 6-week bodyweight challenge that many of us just finished. (It started on May 18th.)

My Duolingo goals, while accomplished (in that I did a lesson every day), were stagnating. With a big project at work, I was frequently logging on just long enough to repeat an earlier lesson, and catching just enough extra lessons at the weekend to stay in whatever my current league was – the top 10 in a league advance; anybody below 45th drops a level. I’ve never dropped a level, but I sat in the same league for an awfully long time.

And then Cassandra started pushing forward through the leagues with her Hawaiian lessons. She caught up to me, and passed me by a couple leagues. Suddenly, I have an accountability buddy for my language lessons. Coincidentally, I’m now in the top 10 for my league a second week in a row, and have added about 10 more vocabulary or grammar sections in the last two weeks. There’s still a ton to go, but having a buddy gave me the right motivation to surge forward in my lessons.

When life gives you lemons, make lemon meringue pie.

I know, that’s not the traditional saying, but I generally march to the beat of a different bagpiper. I think it’s safe to say that 2020 has provided a significant number of lemons to every day life, and there’s only so much lemonade you can drink. So I like to look for something that takes a bit more effort. After all, life went to the trouble of giving me something.

The latest lemon to hit my life was when the support rail of my bed broke last week. It wasn’t unexpected, as it’s the second time one of the wooden rails broken, but the first time was a tiny break near the bolt. This is a full-fledged, half the length of the bed break.

Broken wooden support rail in a bed frame.

I suppose I could tell a funny story about how it broke… an epic battle between Arwen and Cassandra, which the bed lost. But it wasn’t that epic – Cassandra was holding Arwen, and fell back onto the bed when the cat struggled to escape. I heard the crack from the next room.

My lemonade approach would be to order new support rails, or finally get around to ordering a new bed, which I had been looking at for a while. I can honestly say I wasn’t surprised that it broke; the previous break was a couple years ago. I was more dismayed at the timing, since shopping is a bit difficult at the moment. I have ordered a new bed, figuring it’s a good use of stimulus money.

But what about the bed frame? I can’t exactly donate (even if places were open) or give away a broken bed frame, even after gluing it. That wouldn’t feel right. Our spring trash day, when we can put bulk items out at the curb was cancelled… and if it hadn’t been, was actually the day the bed broke, so the break would have been after the pick-up anyways. And to be honest, it’s a reasonably nice (if broken) bed… a pretty wood color that was originally a crib, converted to a toddler bed, and now a full-size bed.

And then I realized what my lemon meringue pie approach would be. With the feet planted into the ground, the support rails will be the right height for a raised garden bed. The size is just about right to reach into every part of the bed for gardening and weeding, possibly with pavers, or even by splitting apart the support slats from the bed itself, and rejoining them as walkways. And the head and foot of the bed are effectively built-in trellises.

Of course, this takes time to set up. Even though I’m not digging deep, I submitted a dig request to mark the utility lines, just to be sure. I need landscaping fabric to reduce weed growth, and a mix of dirt and compost to fill the bed once that’s all done. I’m looking forward to planting sunflowers in it this year, as the spot I’ve chosen is remarkably sunny.

I bought a furnace.

I can’t say that’s a phrase I ever wanted to use. A furnace certainly wasn’t on my top ten things to shop for list. But I knew it was coming.

I had hoped my boiler would limp through one more winter. Last winter, it gradually lost water over a period of three to four weeks, with no obvious leak. That implied the leak was somewhere in the pipes to the radiators, but those pipes are buried in the foundation throughout the house. I learned how to bleed the system – drain the water and the build-up of air into the garage work sink to allow the water to replenish – buying functionality for another pair of weeks, until the room temperature variances started again.

As with all home improvement projects, I did my due diligence and requested estimates from multiple companies. Ultimately the one I chose was not just because they included a maintenance package and removal of the boiler, but because their sales representative explained what he was looking at in the house and attic, and what they needed to do for each piece of the puzzle.

Unassembled pieces of ductwork along with my stuff in the garage

Switching from a boiler and window air-conditioning meant there was no ductwork in the house yet, so we spent four long days with people crawling around in the attic and hammering away in the garage. I pulled what little I store in the attic down, moved furniture around in the garage, and parked outside for a week in December.

When they were done, I had a working furnace, a smart thermostat, and more importantly, peace of mind.

And an air-conditioner. Because I have ductwork now, and it will be far more efficient than window units.

Three meals and a workout at Centr.com

One of the many generous offers that appeared online during this stay-at-home time was a free six-week membership to Centr.com, a fitness website run by Chris Hemsworth’s team. Yes, that Chris Hemsworth, better known to many as Thor in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Centr can be accessed via a web browser or their app; the daily planner shows the same selection either way. There are recipe suggestions provided for three meals each day, at least one workout (some days more), an article to read, and a podcast or meditation to listen to. Any item on the planner can be swapped out by searching through the appropriate category and selecting a different one for the day.

The sign-up process allows users to select their fitness level and goals, and meal plan choices of Regular, Pescatarian, Vegetarian, or Vegan. The introduction also mentioned that you can make adjustments as needed, either due to dietary restrictions (for example, recipes that includes bread list Gluten Free as an alternate) or limited availability of ingredients.

Clockwise from the top left: Chilli mushroom & eggs toast, Dukkah salmon (& bok choy, not pictured), Greek chicken & lemon soup
Clockwise from the top left: Chilli mushroom & eggs toast, Dukkah salmon (& bok choy, not pictured), Greek chicken & lemon soup

The workout selection is pretty varied, from boxing to pilates to HIIT to dynamic yoga, and some insane training that Chris Hemsworth puts himself through. The recipe selection is equally varied, and frankly, quite tasty. I had a chai-spiced oatmeal the other morning, and there’s a variety of smoothie recipes available. I’m definitely enjoying the added variety in both my workouts and meals.

The things you notice working from home

This isn’t my first work from home rodeo. You’re going to notice things in your house and neighborhood that were outside your scope of awareness before: the thunk the washing machine makes as it switches to the spin cycle, the water running through the pipes if you have a boiler, the creaking as a strong wind pushes the house, the way one cat announces before she uses the litter box and the other howls as she prepares to produce a hairball (typically while I’m working out).  You may wonder why the small cat makes a thump when she jumps onto the counter, but the large one only thumps coming down.

Even in these strange times, you’ll notice things about your neighbors too.  You’ll find out which ones hire a lawn service (and wonder why everybody on the block hires different ones), notice when the truck that always leaves at 5am is home or gone, and wonder why the curtains across the street are still closed this morning when they’re usually open before you head to work.

You may hear the guy who talks to himself – loudly until he notices somebody outside – as he rides his bike, or see the couple that takes morning walks year round, even in our winters.  You can watch the birds at the bird feeder as they alternate with the squirrels, observing the different visitors as spring advances.  If you look carefully later, you may see the evening visitors… woodchucks, raccoons, and skunks.

When you inevitably return to normal office settings, you will know so much more about your home and neighborhood if you take the time to look and listen now.