Adulting – Page 6 – Mom's Guide to the Galaxy

A look back at 2021

Like 2020, 2021 wasn’t quite the year we expected or hoped for. Here in the United States, 2021 started with a violent insurrection attempt inspired by the former president. His inability to accept defeat was predictable; as I mentioned previously, he never learned to lose. Thanks to quick thinking on the part of Capitol police, none of the lawmakers were injured, the election results were certified, and many of us were able to watch the inauguration of a new President later that month. An easy option for following the ongoing investigation into the insurrection is to read Heather Cox Richardson’s daily updates.

Going into 2021, we knew that COVID vaccines were being tested and produced and would soon be available for all adults. Unfortunately, the rollout was initially slow, though it sped up as vaccine production ramped up following necessary approvals. By summer, vaccines were also available for teenagers.

Having attended a wedding via Zoom at the beginning of the year, the opportunity to socialize as more friends were vaccinated was eagerly received. Bristol Renaissance Faire reopened after taking a year off, and I drove to Minneapolis for a friend’s barbecue. Just as things were starting to look up, we lost a young family member in Guatemala to the pandemic, right as he became eligible for the vaccine. (Countries that aren’t developing their own vaccines tend to have a slower rollout.) On the same day, we lost a friend in Wisconsin; we attended his funeral later that week. Near the end of the year, my aunt in England passed away; I watched funeral via LiveStream.

As the Delta variant wave climbed, conventions tweaked their policies to include vaccinations and masks, allowing Dorkstock to a somewhat quieter Gamehole Con in October. So there has been gaming – outside the house even – and goodness knows we bought too many board games there.

Some happier highlights from the year include writing – in addition to the ongoing character journal that I maintained for my Quest Calendar, I submitted a couple short stories for competitions and worked through the write, edit, re-write process with a local writers’ group to include a short story in an anthology called Triple Vision.

I also wrote a couple songs this year, mostly about fandom (“filk”), including a Blowin’ in the Wind parody about Avengers: Infinity War, Cthulhu Sleeps Tonight, inspired by a crafty friend, and a silly song about ducks and my friend John’s charity bike ride.

Safe to say, 2021 was neither the best of times nor the worst… just somewhere in the middle, and somewhat unexpected.

Home improvement: a driveway!

Home ownership is a constant challenge of maintenance and ents, deciding which projects take priority in the budget each year, and occasionally scrambling to include an unplanned project – like my new furnace a couple years ago.

I knew when I bought the house that I’d have to fix the driveway at some point – the inspection write-up included “replace cracked and settled driveway” and walkway. There were times it didn’t bother me so much, but those uneven sections could be a painful jolt when shoveling snow (or mulch), and the gap on one side, an unfortunate bump any time I backed out of the garage, were unfortunate reminders that I needed to hire someone to replace it.

During the summer, I looked into several companies and requested estimates. The company I selected – Taber Builders – had a bit of a backlog, and pouring concrete is dependent on the weather, both on it staying dry for a day or two, and staying above freezing. A couple weeks ago, I was given last week as a possible date. It proceeded to rain most of Sunday and Monday, so I was pleasantly surprised when I got a call Tuesday morning saying they could start that day, and pour within the next couple weeks.

It should come as no surprise that several parts of this process are quite loud. The first phase of the project was to break up the old concrete and remove it. A couple days later, the crew returned to smooth out the surface of both the driveway and walkway, laying the wire mesh across the entire area. They did make sure I had a safe route in and out of the house, which I appreciated.

Bright and early Saturday morning… no, actually, they started arriving before the sun was up, so just early Saturday morning, several vehicles parked along the street, including a concrete mixer. Right at 7am, the mixer noises started. Starting with the walkway, then the driveway, they poured the concrete, and then spent a significant amount of time smoothing it out and making sure every bit was level (except for the one spot that’s a ramp down towards the yard).

A couple crew members were back on Monday morning to remove the wood framing the concrete and most of the caution ribbon, leaving just the end of the driveway blocked off as a reminder not to drive on it for at least a week. My car is currently parked on the driveway’s skirt, perpendicular to all their hard work.

Dorkstock and Samhain

I had the pleasure last weekend of attending Dorkstock and the convention that hosts it, Gamehole Con, after a year off for the pandemic. Safety being a priority, the convention required proof of vaccination for those who are eligible (some attendees are too young for the vaccine) and the county currently requires masks for indoor gatherings, and the only place that ever felt crowded was the line for the food trucks. It was a lovely opportunity to be around friends again.

As is likely to happen at Dorkstock, we ran some Munchkin games (among others), but this time we ran them under the title of Munchkin Block Party. Each GameMaster (GM) selected two flavors of Munchkin, and multiple GMs were scheduled at the same time. When the players arrived for the scheduled event, they picked which Munchkin flavor they wanted to play: such as Munchkin Bites or Booty, Legends or Zombies. As an added bonus, we printed Munchkin playmats to track equipment and provided colored pencils for coloring, along with a wooden Munchkin/Dorkstock token; both were sent home with players afterwards (though not the pencils). A fabulous time was had by all.

Yet here we are, approaching Samhain, the religious holiday that predates Halloween, and I can’t help but think about the people we’ve lost. Samhain rituals honor the dead, remembering those who have gone before us, particularly any lost in the last year. For those of us living in the Northern hemisphere, and far enough north to have seasons, this coincides with the end of our growing seasons, which is evidenced as I frantically harvest the last tomatoes and peppers before a hard frost hit.

As you prepare your pumpkins, costumes, and candy, consider taking a few minutes to reflect on the people you would have liked to celebrate with this year who can no longer be with you. Globally, approximately 5 million people have been lost to the COVID pandemic. If you are among the fortunate who have not lost family members to it, spare that moment for someone who has.

Get vaccinated, gather safely, and hope that we learn from this global event.

Frances and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning

Saturday started like any other day: I woke well before my alarm with four cats on the bed, and still got up early enough to shower before feeding them. After feeding them, I made myself breakfast, then went for a walk, planting Pokemon in several nearby gyms. I hung my laundry on the side patio, and decided to move my awesome new minion rain barrel to middle of the mulched area. I realize, it’s not a practical spot for a rain barrel, but I get to see it out the window every day.

I decided I should pull the trellis over to support the honeydew that volunteered by the radishes. I noted when I pulled it off the mulch that the indoor planter, emptied of plants and stored upside-down by the shed, had been resting slightly on it. I picked its placement and opened the shed for a digging tool, to better push in the supports. I then dangled some honeydew vines over the trellis (adding insult to injury, these need to be re-hung), pulled a weed, and put the tool back in the shed.

Carrying the weed still, I was walking towards the side door when the first yellow jacket stung. Thinking it a mere wasp, knowing there was a wasp nest further out in the yard that I’ve been dealing with, I made a brushing motion towards my right shoulder and said “wasp.” The second sting hit my left leg, at which point, the cursing began. I swung my hand that direction and glanced at my right shoulder, noticing a yellow jacket attached to my black t-shirt.

Moving faster now, I flipped open one of the compost bins, dumping the weed I was carrying into it. Standing outside the side door, I brushed off the various spots that had been stung and shook out my hair, in case any of the beasts was hiding in there. I stepped into the garage and felt another sting on my shoulder. Imagine, if you will, a pixie only as tall as your thumbnail jamming a tiny poisoned dagger – repeatedly – into your skin. I stripped off my shirt and dropped it on the floor, searching for the miniscule monster that was causing my pain. Unable to find it, I shook out my shirt and fled into the house, rushing into the hall bathroom before pulling off my shorts and checking them for any intruders.

For some reason, Cassandra, who had just woken up, was looking at me weird.

Having confirmed that none of the yellow jackets were in the house with us, I addressed my injuries and prepared Cassandra’s breakfast. I stepped out to the garage again during that preparation and realized the last – and presumably first – yellow jacket was trapped in there. With Zuko’s help, might flying insect hunter that he is, I found the offending creature and smashed it with shoe in hand against the window screen.

As I wavered on going to the farmers’ market – for bread (again) – I remembered the company, Clean Pest Solutions, that dealt with our ant problem a couple years ago. I couldn’t tell from their website whether they would handle yellow jackets, so I submitted a quick note on their contact form and headed out to do my shopping. I might have been five minutes from the house when they called me back.

Yes, they could handle yellow jackets. Their next available date was Monday… was that OK? They could send someone out with a bee suit to address the issue, along with some preventative measures around the house.

I showed the gentleman where the issue was likely to be (I was right!), confirmed that there was a shovel in the shed, then retreated indoors as he geared up the bee suit and filled his tank from the front hose. Then I stood in the bay window as he pulled my indoor planter away from the shed, dug into the dirt with the shovel, then retreated – a couple times, once all the way to the front yard – before he began spraying the area. Eventually, he dug out the nest and carried it over to the window where Zuko and I were watching, before disposing of it. (Zuko was trying to hunt all the flying insects outside the window.)

After finishing and shedding his bee suit, I was told to leave the area alone for 48 hours – including leaving the shed, which he sprayed inside and around, open. This was apparently the most aggressive nest he’d encountered, making me grateful that I’d hired someone to deal with it.

If you’ve never dealt with yellow jacket stings before, they start small and spread out over time. The near circle on my left leg was about 2 inches each direction Monday morning; by the afternoon, it was 3 by 4 inches, still somewhat rounded. It seems to be the worst one, though I don’t know if that’s due to location or if I was stung there more than elsewhere. I recommend putting yellow jacket interactions in the “don’t try this at home” category.

Two and a half days later, I ventured out before dawn in a light rain, illuminating my path with a headlamp. I cautiously approached the shed – open these past two days – looking inside for any buzzing creatures or the beginnings of a new nest. Having spotted none, I peer in, shining my light on the other half of the shed and moved a couple items they could have hidden under. Satisfied to find no signs of yellow jacket life in my shed, I secured both doors, wondering where the lock was. (I was able to spot it from the bay window – it’s on top of the shed, which will require a step stool for retrieval.) I’ll have to keep an eye out for new nests, and I’ll store the empty planter in the garage once it’s fully rinsed of both the yellow jacket carcasses and stuff that killed them.

I forgot to buy bread.

I went grocery shopping Saturday morning and forgot to buy bread. (I generally make rolls, but I prefer to buy loaves of bread.) After dropping off some spare raspberries and strawberries that afternoon, I considered stopping somewhere to buy bread, but there aren’t any shops on that particular route home. So I deferred the chore until Sunday.

Early Sunday morning, it occurred to me that farmers markets are open again, and there was probably at least one near me on a Sunday. For those of you unfamiliar with farmers markets, they’re typically outdoor markets with fresh produce and other shopping that are only at that location one day a week. They frequently have fresh bakery products, which is what drew me to Google this fine morning.

Sure enough, I found a Sunday morning farmers market five miles away. Shortly after eight in the morning, I headed out, hoping to find bread and perhaps some bite-sized tomatoes.

As you can see, my mission was successful… there were several stands with baked goods, one specifically with loaves of bread, where I selected a sourdough rye bread. Directly across from it was a produce stand where I procured a multi-colored selection of small tomatoes.

The unexpected purchase, however, was the delightful find for the day. Anybody who has gone to the nearby Renaissance Festival has experienced the delicious smell of roasted nuts with tempting samples luring the passerby in. Apparently, the Geneva French Market includes freshly roasted nuts as well… with the choice of whiskey-roasted or vanilla nuts, produced by Nuts To Go. They are, in fact, quite tasty.

And that is why I went looking for a recipe – Honey Whiskey Roasted Pecans | Kara Lydon – and am wondering what effect using different whiskeys will have on the flavor.

Do you remember when we used to…?

I looked up a word in the dictionary the other day… online, of course, at Dictionary.com. I popped into the Thesaurus for another word. It started me thinking on things that on things that have changed for the better since I was a child.

Don’t get me wrong, I still own a printed dictionary, and a Spanish/English dictionary, but both of them are from the early 1990s. (Mental note: get rid of both to clear up shelf space.) If we asked how to spell a word, we were directed to the dictionary… heaven forbid it was something that started with a “ph” or other disguised sound. While that’s still an issue online, web dictionaries are constantly updated as languages continue evolving.

When’s the last time you opened an actual map? Do you remember getting directions with landmarks or street names? Or even more recently, in the early days of online navigation, having to print out the MapQuest (apparently still a thing) directions… that website was a blessing when I first moved to Chicagoland and had no idea where anything was. Now every smartphone includes mapping software, sometimes more than one, and except for the rare disconnected moment, we can always figure out where we are and where we’re going.

And we can do it using high speed internet! My first modem was 2400 baud, and I was still using dial-up internet until 2004. For anybody who missed the dial-up era, at 2400 baud, it took about an hour to download a 1 MB file. For context, the photos my current phone takes range from 4 to 8 MB. (Don’t worry, phones didn’t take photos back then!)

And now I’m wondering what changes Gen Z will look back on in a similar way. What can we improve for our children, and what will they improve for future generations?

Do you know what I know?

Just last week, I read an article on CNN’s website about TranSanta, an initiative started by actress Indya Moore to give presents to transsexual kids and young adults in need. The gifts are anonymous, selected from each person’s Target registry and sent directly to them.

Visitors can read letters on the TranSanta Instagram page, and when ready to select one, click on a link at the top of the page, then click on the letter again to access their Target registry.

The letters are a combination of heart-wrenching and heart-warming. Some showcase art by the writer, some are written by supportive parents; all are in a bad financial positive, many due to job losses from the pandemic. But stacking on top of the pandemic, so many write of unsupportive families and transphobia, homelessness, and their desperate needs in these turbulent times.

If you’re looking for a way to help this holiday season, consider sending a gift to someone on this list.

Evolving traditions

When you learned about Thanksgiving in school, you probably learned all about the pilgrims and Native Americans who gathered. But did you learn that Abraham Lincoln established the date for Thanksgiving in 1863? No? Me neither. But we can be fairly sure that neither the pilgrims or Lincoln purchased jellied cranberries at the grocery store; that’s a newer tradition.

This year in particular is giving us the opportunity to evolve our traditions, as many of us remain isolated from our extended families, waiting for this raging pandemic to fade. We turn to modern technology, beyond the simple phone calls to distant relatives, to video calls where we can see our family. (Err… or would have, if my mother had forwarded the Zoom information before the call. Sorry I missed it!)

It got me thinking about some of the things I grew up with that I’ve changed. Dad used to make mushroom omelets for Sunday morning brunch; I make them, but not always on Sunday. And I typically make them with one egg, whereas he made them with two, with varied ingredients as the filling. Though mostly just mushrooms and cheese.

A recent breakfast – breakfast sausages, fried egg, and spinach & onion stuffed mushrooms

On the subject of mushrooms, one of the recipes Mom would make occasionally (really occasionally… she didn’t cook often, thank heavens) was spinach & onion stuffed mushrooms. Back in the day, this meant buying frozen spinach (ewwww), a package of onion dip seasoning, sour cream, and obviously, mushrooms. Adapting this for what I typically stock in my pantry means that I use fresh spinach and a lovely tub of French onion dip, and a variety of mushroom types.

We are constantly adapting to our surroundings, changing our habits based on availability and desire. Humanity is resilient, largely due to our ability to evolve for different situations and continue learning throughout our lives. Hopefully this year, you’ve learned enough about technology to give virtual hugs to the family you’re missing at the holidays, with the hope that next year’s holidays can be celebrated in person.

Ups & downs to adulting

I was at the grocery store the other day, forlornly noticing that my preferred brand of peanut butter was absent from the shelf. The space was there, but not a single jar of crunchy (my preference) or creamy peanut butter in that brand were available. I sighed and reached for my purse… picking a different brand requires glasses, which is definitely a downside to adulting. Not just because I now read ingredients where I didn’t used to, but because I can barely read most of the label other than the brand name and the creamy/crunchy part. After some grumbling – mostly wondering why there’s anything other than peanuts and a minute amount of salt, and definitely not buying the one with sugar added – I settled on a new jar. (Don’t worry, nobody was staring at me… I tend to do my grocery shopping at the crack of dawn, when the store is mostly empty.)

It led me to consider other ups and downs I’ve encountered recently. I had an emergency dentist visit last month which resulted in a root canal, and anybody who’s experienced that sort of dental pain can tell you it’s definitely a down. But it had an up side… I had just enough in my Flexible Spending Account (FSA) to cover it, which means it wasn’t hitting a credit card bill and I managed to clear my FSA for the year.

For any readers outside the US, an health-related FSA account is money set aside before income tax calculations, and can only be used on health expenses. If unspent after the year plus grace period (in this case, 3 months into next year), you lose the money. In addition to actual medical appointments, it can be spent on some related items, with weird exceptions like covering dentist visits but not toothbrushes. It can lead to weird shopping on FSAStore.com and related sites at the end of the grace period, as you decide just how many first aid kits you really need.

Zuko, perched on the top level of the cat tree. Across the room, two toy mice near the garage door.

Our kitten is definitely an up… but like every cat, Zuko has his personality quirks. His is so excited about toys, particularly mice, and this one type of mouse gets… special… treatment. Watching him drop a toy mouse in the water is funny, until you realize how absorbent it is and see the trail of water he leaves as he drags it around. It’s downright hilarious to see him pause as he runs in from the garage to his bowl; if there’s a mouse between them, he will pick it up and carry it to the bowl. Yes, he sets it in the bowl. *sigh* Dropping one of his mice into my martini… that was definitely a down.

Ups and downs are a part of life… try to laugh when you can, even if there’s a toy mouse in your martini.

There’s an election coming up, how can I help?

There are many possible ways to help the election process, both before and on the actual election day. One important way to help is signing up to become a poll worker – these are the people who check your voter registration and hand you a paper ballot or a code for computer voting. They’re in for a long day – our local election judges (the title seems to vary) arrive at their polling place at 5am and stay until 7pm, and that’s not even counting the training they do ahead of time.

There are also poll watchers, who watch the election process to make sure nothing inappropriate happens. These are typically appointed by the political parties, and again, need some training to make sure they don’t interfere with the voters. You don’t just show up and watch the polls, you need to make sure you’re not breaking any laws in the process. For example, these are the requirements in Illinois:

Registered to vote in the state; must be affiliated with the political party or organization that appoints him or her; the parties and candidates can each appoint two per precinct; organizations that are concerned with the election and nonpartisan civic organizations can appoint one per precinct provided they register with the elections authority 40 days before the election; there can be no more than two people from nonpartisan civic organizations at a polling place at a given time.

Note in particular that there are limits to how many people from each organization can be at a single location. Some states require poll watchers to wear badges, identifying themselves or their organization (it varies) by name. If you’re volunteering as a poll watcher, make sure you know the local rules.

There are always voter registration drives leading up to an election, assisting new voters in signing up. I recall one of these on my college campus, which is around the time most kids reach voting age. It’s too late in most states to register for this election, so keep this one in mind for the next election cycle.

If there’s a candidate you really like, you can volunteer! If the thought of volunteering for one of the big campaigns – presidential or other federal position – seems overwhelming, find a local candidate that you support. There are phone banks, text messages to send, postcards to address and mail… though from personal experience, I would recommend spreading the postcards out a bit, addressing 60 in one day was a bit painful.

There are also rallies, standing (ideally social distanced and with masks) with other people who have similar political views holding signs and waving at traffic. These signs can be anything from support or opposition to specific candidates, particular issues you’re passionate about, or just encouraging people to vote.

As a random act of kindness, there’s a non-profit that delivers food to the long voting lines. You can report a long line or donate towards their pizza at Pizza to the Polls’s website.

What options did I miss, and what are you doing to help?

P.S.: Early voting has started. Remember to vote.