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Let’s talk about sex.

More specifically, let’s talk about how we talk about sex.

I read a fantasy novel recently (shocking, I know) that had some fairly explicit sex scenes between consenting adults. The scenes were well written, except for the male character – who has already acknowledged his promiscuity – periodically referring to his partner as aberrant or amoral because she was interested and actively engaged in their sexual encounters. And every time he did, it wrenched me out of the scene I was reading.

I can break down what bothered me about this into two main categories:

Barring any religious or personal beliefs on the participants’ parts (and there were none at play here) that restrict when they have sex or who they have it with, it is a natural process and should not be viewed as aberrant or amoral.
There’s the inherent sexism of a promiscuous male referring to his partner that way when they were both clearly enjoying themselves. Frankly, the concept that women don’t enjoy sex is outdated and detrimental to the survival of our species.

As a society, we need to accept that there are people who enjoy sex, just as we should understand that there are some people who have no interest in it. There should be no shame in either choice.

Thoughts on Yumi and the Nightmare Painter

Last year, I briefly mentioned Brandon Sanderson’s amazing, record-setting Kickstarter for the four secret books he had written during the pandemic lockdown. (This was in addition to the books he was openly working on.) Not surprisingly, I bought into that Kickstarter, receiving a digital copy of each book on the first day of each quarter this year. I recently finished the third book, Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, and realized I hadn’t mentioned any of them here. Brandon Sanderson states that this is his personal favorite of the Secret Projects; mine (so far) was the first one: Tress of the Emerald Sea.

In this novel, the protagonists Yumi and Nikaro (aka Painter) both have fantastical jobs, which means they have jobs that are specific to the world the story is written in; these are not jobs that are recognizable in our world. Yumi is a Chosen One, one of fourteen young women who through ritual rock stacking can summon spirits and bind them to different uses for society. Nikaro is one of many nightmare painters, tasked with guarding a city from the living nightmares that creep in and feed off people’s fear while they sleep. Nightmare painters capture the nightmares by focusing on them while capturing them on canvas as something harmless. Through a spirit’s cry for help, Yumi and Nikaro are linked magically and tasked with helping each other’s world through their struggles.

This is an easy book to read, especially if you have time to read it all in one sitting. It has all the unexpected twists and fantastical worldbuilding that fans have come to expect from Sanderson, all built on the “what if” concept of fantastical jobs, accented by Aliya Chen’s amazing artwork. It’s okay if you missed the Kickstarter, all of the released Secret Projects books are also available through his website.

A banana crisis

One recent morning, I turned around after washing my breakfast dishes and realized that several of our bananas had partially peeled themselves, falling from where they had hung on the banana stand. A single banana, I could have handled as a snack, but I was looking at four bananas with a stripe of peel removed. I had an early appointment, so I grabbed the entire bunch (including one unpeeled) and shoved them in the fridge. By the time I got home, the collection was down to three open bananas, which is a workable quantity.

Whole wheat French toast topped with caramelized bananas and mulberry compote

As I’ve said before, when life gives you lemons, make lemon meringue pie. In this case, life handed me a trio of bananas that weren’t overripe yet. Typically I wait for overripe before making banana bread. Instead, I considered banana pancakes or crepes for breakfast the next day, but ultimately decided on French toast topped with caramelized bananas and a mulberry compote.

My berry compotes are super simple: berries, a bit of water (add more as desired during cooking), and a dash of salt. Berries are naturally sweet, so I don’t bother adding sugar. They cook on low, stirred occasionally, while I prepare everything else.

The caramelized bananas are similarly simple: a tablespoon of butter and a banana. Melt the butter, add the sliced bananas, flip once or twice. Turn down the heat when the bananas start looking like they’re going to melt.

French toast has always been a bit of a challenge, finding the right mix between the egg and milk mixture and the absorbency of the bread. I ended up using three eggs for four pieces of wheat bread. I was eyeballing the milk, so I might guess a quarter cup per egg.

And that’s how I resolved my banana crisis.

Exercising indoors in the summer

One of the joys of summer is being outside, whether it’s gardening or visiting the zoo or having a picnic with friends. Some of that is outdoor exercise – in my case, mulching or walking through the neighborhood, which are both easier to do in the summer. So far, this summer has been a little different. First we had a couple warm, dry weeks, where we avoided going outside after the early morning because of the heat. Now we have air quality concerns in Chicagoland because of smoke blowing down from wildfires in Canada: the last three days have had an air quality index over 200 (the annual average is 23). I’m a huge fan of breathing, so I’ve been staying indoors as much as possible.

The remains of my mulch pile sits on the driveway, waiting for that number to drop. My Pokémon Go mileage has dropped, though not all the way to zero because I do have some indoor options that involve the right type of movement for my tracker. Those are options I usually reserve for colder weather: Beat Saber on my Oculus, using the treadmill or elliptical (which help my Pokémon Go mileage), or a Centr.com workout. They’re all valid options year round, but I hate to waste good weather by being indoors.

That said, I know I have to move; I know from experience that sitting all day for work causes my muscles to tighten up, and the pain from that is comparable to the hip pain that sent me for an MRI earlier this year. I need to stick to low impact exercises, which still means doing some kind of exercise. And I know there are many unexplored options online still that would serve me indoors.

Cooking like a pirate

When you learn to cook, you typically follow recipes – whether in writing or instructions from someone else – usually as precisely as possible. I recall a kids’ cookbook growing up that included basic recipes for things like scrambled eggs and grilled cheese sandwiches, and I do mean basic: bread, American cheese slices, and butter (for the outside of the bread). As I grew more comfortable with each recipe, I began to alter it. The American cheese became a combination of cheeses (typically Havarti and Pepper Jack), I stopped buttering the outside of the bread, and began adding vegetables or even sandwich meat. Yes, you could argue that it then becomes an “[insert sandwich meat] sandwich” instead of a “grilled cheese sandwich,” but the important part isn’t the name… it’s the fact that I enjoy eating it.

Rice buried under sauteed shrimp, asparagus, and a yellow bell pepper, garnished with feta cheese and a sliced lemon-stuff olive. The olive is only there because we haven't found any other way we like that particular stuffing option.

Now, when I find a new recipe, I treat it more like the pirate’s code in Pirates of the Caribbean: “the [pirate’s] code is more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules.” This shrimp bowl, for example, is very loosely based on a shrimp bowl recipe from Centr. (To be fair, I have made their recipe as written.) Theirs is almost certainly healthier, deliberately balancing the appropriate carbs, greens, and protein. My approach was more cobbled together with ingredients currently available in the house, including leftover rice. Thus the recipe became simply guidelines.

Ultimately, my goal when cooking is to make something we enjoy eating and that we have the ingredients for. Not every meal has to be a fancy attempt to follow a recipe precisely; it’s more important to have a fairly balanced meal that can be assembled in a short period of time.

Well, that’s not good…

When I was in high school, my father attended the curriculum night every year, meeting my teachers and getting an overview of what I would be studying that year. My last year there, I signed up for the Introduction to Poetry to class. I’ll be honest, I’ve never enjoyed analyzing poetry, but the teacher, Mr. Dan Bowden, only taught that and AP English. Mr. Bowden was a distinctive figure at my school, popping his head into our English class to ask a question, then reciting from whatever Shakespearean play we happened to be reading at the time, or stepping into the auditorium and joining the girls’ gym class for a minute or two as we attempted aerobics. After two years at the school, I knew I wanted to take a class with him before graduating.

My father, as I mentioned before, had a degree in English Language and Literature. It was still a bit of a surprise when he handed me a book of poetry the next morning with a page marked to show to Mr. Bowden. The brief poem was Lord Finchley by Hilaire Belloc, who seems to have been a fascinating character, and reads as such:

Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light
Himself. It struck him dead: And serve him right!
It is the business of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan.

Water near the base of our new water softener, a black cylinder next to our blue water tank. And, of course, a cat - Arwen - checking on the situation.

While I am by no means wealthy, I have kept this poem in mind mainly in the last decade as I’ve navigated home improvements and repairs. And so this morning, when I walked into the garage and found water emerging from the newly installed water softener, I immediately rushed to fix it. And by fix it, I mean call the water softener company to repair it… you did just read Lord Finchley, didn’t you?

While there are some projects I’ll handle inside the house, I have a strict rule about not messing with any appliances that integrate with the utilities: water, natural gas, or electricity, and the water softener touches two of those. For now, I have a towel down in case it leaks again – it appears to be related to when it cycles, which is about once a week. The towel is dry enough that Zuko sat on it for a while.

An overdue mulching

I never got around to refreshing my mulch last year; my last mulch delivery was in May 2021 (as mentioned here). It looked great at the time, but mulch gradually decomposes (that’s kind of the point) and needs to be replaced. I had another 8 cubic yards of mulch delivered last weekend and, while I’m definitely making a dent, between my hip issues and air quality concerns (due to wildfires in Canada), I’m having to take it a little slower than last time. Admittedly, I’ve had the mulch for less than a week at this point; this is what it looked like Saturday afternoon, after filling just one bucket:

Sunday morning, I switched to using a wagon to haul mulch to a few spots in the backyard. I could tell I had made a dent on the pile when I headed in for a shower and work on Monday:

8 yards of mulch minus a chunk a couple days after delivery

I’m deliberately not cleaning up the scattered mulch that I missed while shoveling; it gives me an idea of how much progress I’ve made. Of course, so do the results, like our herb garden out front after I finished placing mulch Wednesday morning:

fresh mulch around the star-shaped herb garden

I’m mostly done with the front at this point, leaving some sizable areas in the back and along the edges of the house still to do. All in all, it’s good progress.

A new sofa was needed

Creak went the sofa, again, as I sat down on it. Clink when I leaned against it while sitting on the floor. I had found a metal piece on the floor a while back, and only recently noticed another one on the side table. Sitting down on this old sofa – and it was old, a hand-me-down from family with both a scratchy fabric and pattern that made me wonder which decade it was from – was making me nervous. I placed an order for a new sofa online and moved the old sofa, then removed the cushions.

The wooden frame for our old sofa with some detached metal support pieces. And, of course, a cat.

I don’t know a lot about furniture design, but I’m fairly sure the metal supports aren’t supposed to be curling downwards. The pieces we found on the floor were those round bits at the end, which the supports hooked into.

Pieces of the new sofa waiting to be assembled.

The new sofa required some assembly. Honestly, this was a relief, as I was concerned about getting a sofa into the house; taking the old frame out was challenging enough. The packaging was quite clever: box 1 held the base, with all of the vacuum-packed cushions, the back support pieces, and the legs tucked inside the base itself; box 2 held the essentially armrests. The legs screwed in with simple twisting, and all of the other pieces simply slid together.

The assembled new sofa featuring, of course, a cat.

The sofa was, of course, cat-tested (and approved) immediately. Actually, there was some cat testing during assembly, but I was too busy to get those photos.

Stepping back in time in Janesville, Wisconsin

A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine in Janesville reached out to let me know about a small Renaissance Faire in Wisconsin: the (not surprisingly) Janesville Renaissance Faire (JRF). You may wonder what differentiates small and large Renaissance Faires; most comparisons will be to the Bristol Renaissance Faire (Bristol), since that’s the only other one I’ve attended recently. Primarily, the differences are affordability and permanence.

At the JRF, parking is free and, if you arrive early enough, fairly close; admission was a mere seven dollars (six if you brought a non-perishable food donation). In contrast, Bristol parking is five (general) or ten (preferred) dollars, and admission is up to a whopping forty dollars this year.

In terms of permanence, most vendors at Bristol display their wares in actual buildings at a location dedicated solely to the faire. In contrast, JRF vendors work out of pop-up tents at the Traxler Park, occupying it for just one weekend a year. Scrolling through the JRF’s sizable vendor list, I half expected a larger location, but the vendors made good use of their space.

There was, of course, entertainment, spread across four different stages. One, conveniently, was located in the midst of the food vendors, which was perfect while patiently waiting for lunch or dessert. As expected, there was a fine variety, ranging from musical groups such as Bardmageddon and Bounding Main, to comedy acts and even fire eating. Similar to Bristol, there were more events that we wanted to see than we could possibly attend, though the lunch line placement did help a bit.

The main difference we noticed was the shopping. While there’s no shortage of shopping opportunities at Bristol, sometimes we want to find small groups of gifts – think something in the one to five dollar range – and there were far more of those available at JRF than at Bristol. I suspect this is a combination of the lower entry cost for vendors and the sheer variety of merchandise, as not everything sold at JRF was strictly adhering to the Renaissance theme.

All told, it was a fun day and worth the drive… when the weather is good. We had a lovely sunny – yet not too warm – day, but I understand that it snowed for the event last year. I expect we’ll attend again, and continue to attend Bristol as well.

Birds hidden in a field of dandelions

We’ve had a decent mix of sun and rain here recently, causing an explosive growth of grass and the plants mixed in, particularly the dandelions. This first photo shows the dandelions and clover in my lawn shortly before the most recent mowing.

Dandelions growing tall in my mix of clover and grass.

This second photo shows similar growth in a friend’s lawn, which was mostly a field of dandelions at that point.

Dandelions growing tall in a friend's yard.

If you’ve never seen a Canada goose, I should inform you that they usually stand between a foot and two feet tall. I was amused when I realized that there were three Canada geese in the nearby field where I took the next photo; I think two of them were sitting down.

Canada geese resting in the tall dandelions in a nearby area.

If you’ve never encountered a Canada goose, this is an appropriate distance – far away – as they’re not friendly and can be quite aggressive at times. I periodically see them on my walks around town, and occasionally have to alter my route because of them.